Weasley Vs Potter
by Jelsemium
Summary: After Ginny spent a night in detention with Harry Potter, you'd think they'd be getting along better. This is somewhat closer to canon that A Sirius Situation, but it's still AU.
1. Proceed with Caution

Weasley vs Potter

By Jelsemium

For the HP FicaFest Community at LiveJournal

Disclaimer: I do not own the Potter characters. I am not making a profit. I adore J. K. Rowlings.

Author's Note: This was written between Book 5 and Book 6. It's somewhat closer to canon than "A Sirius Situation", but still very AU. So, yes, I know that in canon Ginny knew about the Invisibility Cloak by this time.

Chapter 1: Proceed with Caution

Harry learned caution the hard way.

The first day, his shoelaces would not stay tied. He had been blaming his constant tripping on Peeves, until he'd spotted Ginny Weasley sniggering behind her hand.

The second day, his socks had gradually become colder until he'd been forced to go to Madam Pomfrey with frostbitten toes.

Every article of clothing, even his glasses, even his… Well, he'd never again hear the phrase 'pea green' without thinking of _that_ hex.

In short, every piece of clothing that he owned had been hexed at some point.

One morning, much to the amusement of his roommates, the minute he got out of bed, he grabbed his wand and started dehexing everything in sight.

He cast a _Finite Incantatem_ on his clothing (_every_ piece of his clothing, even the sock that had been moldering under his bed since the House Elves went on strike last year.)

Then he went around the room, casting counter curses. on everything in sight: on his bed, on his bedclothes, on his glasses, on his (suspiciously reduced) stockpile of chocolate frogs, on his books, on his writing utensils, on his book bag, on his shoelaces (twice on those for good luck), on his drinking glass, on the window, on the windowsill, on the doorknob.

Remembering the 'pee green' incident, he next went into the boys' loo and dehexed everything there, just to be safe.

His roommates only stopped laughing when he raised his wand at them. They were relieved when he merely cast a _Finite Incantatem_ at them.

The laughter restarted soon enough. Because when Harry was finished, he found that he couldn't let go of his wand.

The other four boys had a hard time escaping; they were laughing that hard. Harry chased them down the stairs into the Common Room, only to find a bright-eyed audience.

"Why aren't you dressed yet, Harry?" Hermione asked with a smirk.

Harry looked at the wand in his hand and gave serious consideration to hexing Hermione into next week. He sighed. He couldn't do it. He was too much of a gentleman. (Plus there was a Potions exam. coming up _this_ week.)

"Something wrong, Potter?" Ginny giggled.

"That's Mr. Potter, to you, Missy," Harry growled. "You'll get yours, soon."

He stalked back upstairs, but not fast enough to escape Ginny's. "I get mine _every time_ I beat you. Mr. Potter!"


	2. Stalking Ginny

Chapter 2: Stalking Ginny

Harry began to watch Ginny. He watched her all day, every day. From the moment she slathered extra butter on her toast at breakfast until she shut her books and went up the stairs to her dormitory room at night.

He was beginning to feel like a right perv, but he had to do this. He had to wipe that smirk off her face.

A small part of him, the really pervy part, acknowledged that it was fun to spy on Ginny Weasley. While she wasn't as curvy as Parvati or as glittery as Lavender, she didn't exactly crack any mirrors. In fact, she was developing into quite a fetching young woman.

He couldn't admit that to himself, though, because that would take his edge off.

(An even smaller part realized that he was actually grateful to her. Since she had started her reign of terror, he hadn't dreamed of Sirius' death. But he definitely couldn't admit to that, because then he'd be thinking about Sirius' death again, which would bring back the nightmares…)

Harry practiced hexing his own watch because he knew that Ginny hated to be late.

Finally Harry put his plan into motion.

It was breakfast the morning that Professor McGonagall planned some important projects for her fifth years. Harry knew about this because Colin Creevey had been asking Hermione for special tutoring all week.

Harry struck at breakfast on a Thursday, when Colin and Ginny had Transfiguration as their first class.

That morning, Harry watched Ginny until she was absorbed by some last minute revision. Then he flicked his wand.

Ginny looked up at the motion.

Harry hissed at her, "Ginny, what are you still doing here? You're going to be late for Transfiguration! McGonagall will have you transfiguring snails into watches until next Saturday!"

Ginny looked at her watch, gasped in horror and bolted, scraps of parchment and toast flying behind her.

"Professor McGonagall, I'm sorry…"

"There's no need to apologize for being fifteen minutes early," Professor McGonagall said. "In fact, I'm glad you're here. You can help me set up the stations for the experiments."

Helping McGonagall "set up the stations" apparently translated to Ginny doing all the physical labor. Since McGonagall's "very important project" turned out to be "Practical Application of Transfiguration Spells on Non-functional Plumbing," that meant that Ginny got to deal with kitchen sinks and toilets that were plugged with… well, the usual things that kitchen sinks and toilets got plugged with.

What really ticked Ginny off was that she knew that Harry knew what this lesson consisted of. (He'd had it last year, after all.) So, ignoring the fact that she was the one who'd started this whole thing, she decided that she needed to get revenge.


	3. It's All Good Fun Until

**Chapter Three: It's all Good Fun Until Somebody Loses an Eye**

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Harry was the one who had brought up snails, so Ginny decided that he should get some idea of what a snail's existence was like.

She did some research in the Restricted Section of the library. (Damn! But she loved Harry's invisibility cloak, especially since he didn't know that she knew he had it. So, of course, he didn't know when she had it.)

The potion was actually quite simple, and didn't appear to be permanently harmful, so she copied the recipe down and brewed it in Moaning Myrtle's loo. It was finished the Wednesday after Harry had hexed her watch.

Ginny didn't use it for another week, though, as she needed to wait for a particular time of the month -- not for the potion, for her alibi.

Ginny spent the third Thursday of the month using Weasley Wizarding Wheezes on herself. She fainted once during charms and once during her career counseling. Prof. McGonagall sent her to the Hospital Wing, where she managed one last faint for Madam Pomfrey.

Madam Pomfrey diagnosed iron-poor blood due to its being that time of month and gave her blood replenishing potion and a bright pink potion for her cramps. She told Professor McGonagall that Ginny needed to spend the day in bed. McGonagall informed Ginny's teachers that she would not be in class on Friday. Which made Ginny very happy, as it not only gave her a free day to prank and observe, but it got her out of Potions.

She'd have to write two essays to make up for missing that class, but it was worth it to not have to be in the same room as Snape.

Friday morning, she managed to slip the Snail Snot Potion into Harry's breakfast tea. He wasn't on his guard at all, because she was allegedly confined to her room. (Damn, she really loved that cloak!)

It was fun when Harry began to sweat snail slime. He had to hold his flatware just so, or it would drip into his food. It was easy to follow him from the Great Hall to the Hospital Wing… where he had been told that he'd have to wait for it to wear off. (It was not so easy to keep from giggling.)

After Harry received the happy news that he'd be sweating snail slime all day, he went to Charms, where Flitwick managed to keep the snail snot from ruining Harry's exam paper, although there wasn't much he could do for Harry's concentration. Ginny bit her lip, but it looked like Harry would pass the exam anyway.

Perhaps she should have done this on the weekend? No, there would have been too many people in Gryffindor Tower for her to sneak the cloak out of Harry's dormitory room.

Then Harry went down into the dungeons with the rest of the sixth years. Ginny winced. She had forgotten that he had Potions that day. She didn't dare try to sneak inside Snape's classroom. So she had no way of knowing exactly what had exploded.

Potions class was canceled for the rest of the day, so it must have been nasty.

Harry had detention, as Snape had decided to make him clean whatever it was off the floors, and the walls, and the ceiling, all by himself. And he had to do it without magic, of course.

The joke lost its humor long before Harry came staggering into the common room covered in soot and smelling of dragon's blood. (Obviously, one of the twelve uses thereof included cleaning dungeons.)

Harry sank into a squishy chair next to the fire. This late, there were only a few people left downstairs.

Ginny went over and scourgified him. Having been taught by her mother, who was used to cleaning up after her brothers, Ginny's cleaning spell was exceptionally strong.

"Thanks," Harry sighed. He pulled off his glasses and massaged the bridge of his nose.

"I'm sorry," Ginny said in a small voice.

"Not your…" Harry stopped in mid-word. Then his eyes opened slowly and he studied Ginny for a long moment. "It _was_ your fault, wasn't it?"

"Yes," Ginny said. She braced herself for an explosion that didn't come.

Instead, Harry gave her a wounded look.

"Good-night, Ginny," he sighed. Then he trudged off to bed without yelling or even demanding an explanation.


	4. Repent, Ginny!

Chapter 4: Repent, Ginny!

Ginny did not sleep well. Saturday morning at breakfast, she was so pale and listless that Professor McGonagall insisted that she make another trip to the Hospital Wing.

Ron escorted her. At first, Ginny was bewildered by this unexpected display of fraternal tenderness.

Then Ron began to cross-examine her over the Snail Snot prank.

"It was ugly, Ginny," Ron said, after she had confessed. "The Snail Snot combined with the Reanimation Potion that we were concocting and the stuff was literally crawling around the room.

He gave a bark of laughter. "It was almost funny, especially the part where Malfoy screamed like a girl and climbed onto Crabbe's shoulders."

Ginny sighed. "Poor Harry, I feel just awful!"

"You should."

"Thank you," she said sarcastically.

"You started it," Ron said. "Merlin knows why, I thought you two were getting along after that detention."

"We were," Ginny sighed. "But, damn it, he was treating me like a sister."

"Tsk, so now he'll treat you like a Slytherin."

Ginny was ready to cry. Ron must have realized that, because he added hastily: "You need to make it up to him. Prank somebody he doesn't like. Maybe that will amuse him."

"I could prank myself," Ginny suggested.

Ron shook his head. "That won't work. He doesn't like to see you get hurt or humiliated."

Ginny swiveled her head around to look in the eye. (Not so easy, now that Ron had topped six feet.)

"What makes you say that?" she demanded.

"He said so."

"When?"

"This morning, when I asked him if he wanted me to do something nasty to you."

"Oh."

Now Ginny really felt like a heel.

"Then, who?" she wondered. "Malfoy?"

Ron nodded. "Malfoy's always a good target," he sighed and a dreamy look came into his eyes.

Ginny could tell that he was thinking about the Incredible Bouncing Ferret.

"Snape would be better, though," Ron added. "Harry's never seen Snape get pranked, unless you count the business with Neville's Boggart being Snape dressed as an old lady."

"No, we can't count that as a prank," Ginny sighed.

Ron left her in the care of Madam Pomfrey, who "tsked" at her.

"I told you to rest, young lady!" Madam Pomfrey fussed. "I suppose you spent the entire time catching up on your homework?"

"Actually, I spent most of the time running… to the loo," Ginny said.

"Oh." Madam Pomfrey looked thoughtful. "I should have realized your monthly would be exceptionally heavy. That would explain you fainting all over the place." She left the cubicle and returned several long moments later with a bright pink flask labeled with the sign of Venus.

"Here, this is the extra strength version," she said. "Do read the label before taking it."

Ginny took the Pink Flask and read carefully. She dutifully noticed the frequency and dosage. It was the warning label that grabbed her attention. "For females only?" she asked. "Why is that?" she looked at Madam Pomfrey wide-eyed. "Will it turn…?"

"No, Miss Weasley, the potion will not turn a boy into a girl," Madam Pomfrey huffed. "Honestly, the things you students think of! I would never give a full-fledged Potion d'Venus to a student!" She eyed Ginny narrowly. "Especially not the sister of Fred and George Weasley!"

"Oh," Ginny took the flask.

"Now, get plenty of rest, have some beef tea, and eat a substantial lunch, tea and dinner!"

"Yes, Madam Pomfrey," Ginny said. As she reached the door, she looked over her shoulder. "I'll tell the twins you remember them, shall I?"

"Out!" Madam Pomfrey shouted.

But Ginny was sure that she'd heard a note of affection and amusement in the nurse's voice.

Then she looked at the potion in her hand. If Madam Pomfrey wouldn't give a student a "full-fledged" Potion d'Venus to a student, did that mean this was a _partial_ Potion d'Venus?


	5. Plan of Attack

Chapter 5: Plan of Attack

In three of the four houses, when a student wanted information, he or she had two recourses: Ask a teacher or go to the library.

Gryffindor was blessed with a third option: Miss Hermione Granger. Hermione was faster than the library and safer and more discreet than a teacher.

"A Potion d'Venus will turn a male into a female for twenty-four hours," Hermione said. "The potion is designed to relieve certain pains that women get. Men don't have the anatomy that the potion works on, so the potion turns them into women, in order to relieve the pain in that portion of their anatomy."

Hermione paused for breath, then a sudden thought hit her and she looked at Ginny with dire suspicion.

"No! I don't plan to use it on Harry!" Ginny said hurriedly.

"So, who are you planning to use it on?"

"I thought if I could prank Snape, then maybe Harry would feel better and maybe, just maybe, he'd forgive me."

Hermione patted her on the shoulder. "I think he'll forgive you if you apologize," she said.

"I apologized last night, and he looked so… sad," Ginny said in a small voice. "Oh, Hermione, I just wanted him to notice me!"

Hermione made a wry face. "I think we can safely assume that he has done that." She looked at the Flask of Pink Potion and her face grew thoughtful. "I'll bet this is a partial Potion d'Venus," she said. "Let me do some research."

Which, of course, was exactly what Ginny hoped she would say.

Several days later, once they had the "full-fledged" Potion d'Venus on hand, the trick was delivering it to its intended target. Ginny and Ron could come up with dozens of methods to feed the stuff to Snape.

"The trouble is, it will take Snape about five minutes to figure out who gave it to him," Ron said in disgust. "He won't be satisfied with detention for this. He'll want the perpetrator expelled!"

Hermione looked at him in shock.

"Yes, Hermione, I do know polysyllabic words!"

"I'm not sure that pranking Professor Snape will help. Harry wasn't happy when he saw how his father pranked young Severus Snape," Hermione said.

"That was before…" Ron stopped. "Well, I doubt that Harry will mind seeing Snape get pranked now."

"Well, maybe," Hermione said.

"Right," Ginny said, not wanting to wait for another Ron-and-Hermione battle. "It's my problem. I'll have to figure out how to get Snape to take it on my own."

"Mum will go spare if you get expelled," Ron warned.

Ginny nodded. "I won't get caught," she vowed.

She left the Common Room with the Potion d'Venus in her pack. She had an audacious plan in mind. Something she didn't want her brother or Hermione associated with should it backfire.

If it worked, however, Snape would never know what hit him.

Actually, Snape would never know _who_ hit him, as the _what _would be painfully obvious.

Ginny took a deep breath and headed for the lion's den.


	6. Unsuspected

Chapter 6: Unsuspected

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Ginny was relieved when she went down to breakfast on Monday morning. Relieved that she was still a student at Hogwarts. Relieved that Harry, sitting between Ron and Hermione, didn't seem to hate her. In fact, he gave her a faint smile when she sat down.

"How are you feeling?" he asked. "I heard you haven't been feeling well."

"Yes, thank you," she said. "I'm feeling better. How about you?"

"I'm okay," Harry said. "I'm not angry at you."

"Thanks," Ginny said again. "I promise, I'll make it up to you."

"Ginny, just don't…"

Whatever it was Harry wanted Ginny not to do was never revealed. Just then, whispers broke out in the hall, like dozens of little hissing fires.

Everyone looked at the head table. At first they couldn't see what the commotion was about. Then, they saw Snape's hair. The color was gradually fading from its usual black.

Snape's clothing was also fading. From black to grey to silver to white… then it started acquiring color.

Snape glared at the whispering students, until something caused him to look at himself. His eyes went wide and he rose hurriedly.

By then, his hair was platinum blond, and his clothing was bright fuchsia. He was walking as fast as he could on his silver stiletto heels. He paused once, as if considering taking the shoes off, but he didn't stop. Obviously he was reluctant to try to bend over with his new… accoutrements.

His accoutrements were obvious as not only had his robes become skin tight and nearly transparent; he was now the size and dimensions of Madam Maxime of Beauxbatons.

He managed to escape, but not before somebody took pictures. Several of which made their way into every common room in Hogwarts. (Although the Slytherins had to be extremely circumspect about viewing them.)

Naturally, Snape wanted Dumbledore to expel Harry, although there was no evidence to link any student, ghost or even Peeves to the deed.

"I'm sorry, Severus," Dumbledore said gently. "Unless you can prove who did this, I'm afraid it will have to go down as one of the mysteries of Hogwarts."

"Potter…"

"Harry allowed me to check his mind," Dumbledore said. "He had nothing to do with it. Neither did Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger."

Snape snarled and stormed out of the Headmaster's office. He was not seen for the rest of the week. And there was much rejoicing among the students.

Dumbledore sighed and looked at Professor McGonagall. "You might want to look into this, Minerva," he said. "Harry suspected that Miss Ginevra Weasley might have had a hand in this, although he had no idea how."

"There is any number of suspects," McGonagall said.

"True, Severus can try the patience of a saint," Dumbledore admitted.

"It's true, that Severus' attitude has grated on my nerves on occasion," McGonagall said. "And I have to admit, I did rather enjoy harassing that Umbridge woman."

Dumbledore's eyes went wide.

"Minerva! Don't tell me that you…?"

"Very well, Albus, I won't tell you," McGonagall said serenely.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Well, as I told Severus, this incident will have to be filed as one of the inexplicable happenings at Hogwarts."

"Indeed."

Tuesday morning, Ginny found two dozen multi-colored roses from Harry waiting for her in the Common Room. Naturally, she split them with her Transfiguration professor.


End file.
